CONGRADULATIONS! YOU'VE FOUND
AUGUST 2008
ON-LINE SEMINAR CATALOGUE
Seize the day!
Unless there's something
good on TV.
All text © 2008 by John Marshall. All rights reserved. Don't fool with me, boy.
A Phantom Brain Production
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Spend an Evening with an Out-of-Work Actor!
Become an Herbal Auto Mechanic
Healing cars with herbs is an ancient art that was developed early this year. As the New Age progresses from a novelty to an actual social disorder, a growing number of Americans are treating their ailing autos with
fresh, organic products free from pesticides.
Repairing engines, transmissions and gear shafts with garden variety vegetables, insects, mulch and manure virtually guarantees your vehicle will never be the same.
So stop going to your boring, mainstream mechanic and become a hip, alternative herbal one -- and start changing your car's sesame oil every 3,000 miles.
Vegan brake alignment specialist "Natural" Herb Bobish once restored a 1976 AMC Pacer with some leftover peat moss.
Joseph Emory Bean is a full-time actor who hasn't appeared in a production of any kind in over 20 years. His techniques for not acting, not reacting and not trying have been embraced by entertainment's biggest non-working professionals. So if you have the acting bug, why not bring it to someone who knows how to squash it, once and for all?
Joseph Emory Bean stopped living "in the moment" in 1986 and had his "inner voice" surgically removed in 1997.
Let's Fight with the Relatives!
Holidays are a time to reflect on important themes, like American independence or giving thanks -- but they're also a great time to catch up on inter-family conflicts! In fact, some say it's not a family get-together until someone's feelings get hurt or a leg gets broken.
In this course you'll learn how to turn family parties into raging shouting matches on politics, abortion, race and religion. You'll also learn to insult loved ones' weight, job, clothes, hair and choice of mate. We guarantee you'll make your relatives miserable -- or double your family back.
Instructor R.E. Bellup has personally wrecked over 200 family functions, including weddings, funerals, graduations, brises and drug and alcohol interventions.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CLICK ON OUR WEBUCATIONAL LINKS:
WELCOME FROM OUR PRESIDENT!
Our
motto: Give a
man a fish and you
have given him a fish. But
teach a man to manage
fish and you have
taught him fishery
management.
KNOWLEDGE APPENDIX PRESIDENT CELEBUTAINUCATOR WARREN BLAP
Founded in 1993 due to a clerical error, The Knowledge Appendix has been billing students since 1989. We spare no expense to bring you the very finest courses we can get cheaply. Our classes run the gamut from one end of the gamut to the other and are taught by America's hottest B-list celebrities.
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POSTERS OF INSPIRATION (LIKE THE ONE ABOVE) ON SALE NOW
IN THE
KNOWLEDGE APPENDIX
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Make Your Own Beer Using an Old Sock and Some Ammonia Water!
Find Peace and Serenity as a Corporate Drone
No doubt you've heard of one of the world's most popular beverages, beer. Now Ed Frankie shows you how to brew your own using an ordinary sock and a common household cleanser. You'll make several different varieties -- dark, white, knee, argyle and tube -- using the finest barley, hops and polyester blends. Your friends will swear it's from a brewery, but no, it's from a sock!
Ed Frankie left a promising career in business to pursue drinking full time.
Contrary to popular belief, peace and serenity do not come to those who "find themselves," but rather to those who surrender their minds, souls and health insurance to a giant corporation. More and more people are adopting the drone lifestyle, and trading their "dreams" for safety and sameness. Sound dull? Well, it is.
Corporate Drone #23,456 Martin Blale has helped thousands overcome everything from personal ambition to non-hive thinking.
